Dear Kiwi

Do you argue with yourself? I feel like I’m constantly battling with myself — logic vs. whimsy, stability vs. freedom, safety vs. chaos. I guess it’s good I keep myself balanced, but man, do I wish for reckless abandon sometimes. Even when I can’t imagine what that would actually look like in context to anything “real”. I guess that’s the point though, right? It wouldn’t be in context because it is reckless. Silly me.

I wonder if we would irritate each other, or maybe we’d be the greatest friends. I take great pride in my friendships. I’ve collected an amazing assortment of people for every stage of my life. I’ve been there for many. Now that I’m older and life has gotten more complex, it has been difficult to feel like I can give anyone enough. I realized that sometimes I can’t fill my cup long enough before I’m pouring into someone else. I, sadly, don’t have someone to consistently pour into me, but I do an OK job of managing. On a woo-woo side note, we are an optimistic sort, I’ve been told, especially for others. I can be a decent cheerleader.